Start Rising Podcast
The Start Rising Podcast, hosted by Caiti Courtier, is a show for entrepreneurs seeking personal growth and heightened positivity who are taking imperfect action. The podcast focuses on the topics of resilience and overcoming obstacles to achieve success, with an emphasis on questioning old beliefs and learning valuable lessons along the way. The podcast is aimed at entrepreneurs who may feel isolated on their journey and are looking for support during the beginning through growth stages of their business. By listening to the Start Rising Podcast, individuals can connect with like-minded individuals and gain inspiration to pursue their big audacious goals.
Start Rising Podcast
Episode 52: The Sparkle Within: A Conversation on Resilience with Charli Hoffman
What does it take to find your sparkle amidst insurmountable adversity? Join us in an enlightening conversation with Charli Hoffman, a beacon of hope, clarity coach, speaker and meditation teacher. Charli shares their deeply moving journey, from a life of trauma, homelessness and sex trafficking, to an inspiring turnaround through the power of meditation. This is a story of resilience, ascension from resistance, and a testament to the power of the Reticular Activating System to focus on positivity even in the direst circumstances.
In our vibrant chat, we also highlight the paramount importance of community and accepting assistance. With Charli, we explore the impact of hyper-independence as a trauma response and discuss the necessity of understanding our love language for effective giving and receiving, as well as the need to unlearn societal gender expectations. Charli discloses how authenticity played a crucial role in their successful path in sales and coaching. We also delve into the art of building confidence through practice and reflection, drawing invaluable insights from Charli's personal experiences and speaking engagements.
We culminate our discussion with a distinct focus on celebrating accomplishments and the importance of self-pride. Hear about Charli's unique concept of a 'brag book', a tool to acknowledge our unique abilities and triumphs. Charli's transformative journey to becoming a clarity coach serves as a testament to the power of resilience, hope, and persistence. So, prepare to immerse yourself in this stirring episode, sure to inspire, encourage, and motivate you to find your own sparkle, just like Charli Hoffman.
Connect with Charli charli@timehackersunite.com
TikTok: Charli_timehacker
Charli offers -1:1 coaching in 3 and 6 month packages and also has an online community called Sparkle Warriors. Reach out to Charli directly to inquire about their playshops
Connect on Instagram @CaitiCourtier
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Hey everyone. My guest today is someone who is a ray of sunshine, a clarity coach, speaker, meditation teacher and a sparkle warrior. They are creative, a sponge for learning and has a goal of expanding everyone's learning, encompassing things that you don't learn until adulthood, that should be learned much earlier. They started a group called Sparkle Warriors International Book Club and the community that embodies uplifting content highlighting the ups and downs that is to be continually growing and evolving and has such a knack for creating the most compelling dialed in book club questions. The TikToks they post are exactly what you need as a fellow glorious human and also hosts by monthly play shops. Welcome to the podcast, charlie Hoffman.
Speaker 2:Thanks, thanks so much, Katie. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 1:I'm glad to have you joining us so well, let's go ahead and kick it off and tell everyone a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I had a really difficult life growing up. I went through a lot of trauma and I was homeless, I was sex trafficked. I pretty much saw a lot of the darkness in humanity, and my mental health definitely took a dive because of that. And then, when I was 20 years old, I luckily in a sense I luckily overdosed and ended up in a psych ward where a psychiatrist taught me how to meditate of all things. That was his prescription and that really changed my life. It really shifted my perspective and, even though there was more hardship after that, it made me realize that we have a lot more power than we think and that we're told. And so that's why I became a clarity coach. That's why I became a meditation teacher myself. It's why I started creating content, because I just thought that we are so often told what we should and shouldn't be, when really all we should be as ourselves, but most of us don't know how to do that. So I like to help people do that.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And your story in general is just I understand I mean, we understand the best of our ability. Like you can see it in hindsight now you can kind of piece the things together that you went through in order to get where you are right now and to have that like breakthrough moment where you were like I'm going to take this and I'm going to turn this in a positive way to be able to help other people. But it's just your story is incredible.
Speaker 1:This podcast particularly talks about like overcoming things and how people break through those different resistance levels and how that's different for everyone in what they, what their goals are, what they want to accomplish, but also like themselves as a person as well and what's creatively shaped them. And we were kind of talking a little bit about before the podcast, talking a lot about comfort zones and the way we want to talk about it, because obviously the different things that you go through in life establish your comfort zones and how they may look and shape and things like that. So do you want to share a little bit about how you've taken the experience that you've had and turned that into what you do now with clarity coaching?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so when I first learned how to meditate, like I said, that was my first experience of being in, you know, in a psych ward. You're in a locked ward and I was in a room with a nurse who was because I was on suicide watch who was sitting there like reading a book while I was meditating and I would open my eyes like every couple of minutes and be like how long has it been? You know, it was like it was so draining to be to be to do that. And then, about a week in, I had a moment where I felt like it wasn't so much that I left my body, but that I experienced peace within my body. And after almost 20 years of trauma, at that point I didn't even know that that was possible and that was a real spark for me of just what I have control over, where my power lies.
Speaker 2:I, when I was homeless, I would talk to the bus drivers and make them laugh and it was like, yeah, I was homeless and I didn't know how I was going to eat, but we could, for that one moment, like take advantage of the positivity or laughing or just connecting with another human. And then the more that I started looking for those moments, the easier it became to find them. And actually there's a scientific basis to that as well. There's this part of your brain called the reticular activating system, the RAS. I like to call it the bouncer. That's great, yeah. It's basically tells you what to pay attention to, and so it's like, if you are constantly like looking for the bad, you're going to find the bad. If you are looking for the good, you're going to find the good. And initially I swung very far in the direction of toxic positivity, of, like you know, always finding the good, always finding the positive, always finding the silver linings, and on one hand, that carried me through.
Speaker 2:But you can't, I couldn't and I know that it to be true of my clients and the people I've spoken to that you can't live a happy life, you can't define success, you can't even figure out what your comfort zone looks like if you don't feel all of it. And so as I started to learn that and I started to understand how trauma impacts the body, it just became more and more encouragement to understanding that we have control, like even though trauma changes your brain and that could be even just like chronic stress if you think you don't have trauma in your life. You know it impacts your brain, it impacts your body, it impacts what you see in the world, and so it's like you might have a really difficult circumstance. It doesn't like you can change that. You can change it at any point, like even when you're struggling, you can feel happy.
Speaker 2:And a lot of people think you know, oh, I'm struggling and I don't have enough to pay the bills and so I can't be happy. It's like, but you can. You know, maybe being happy today is just going and sitting outside and being like, oh my gosh, I'm so glad that I am alive and I can breathe. You know, maybe it's on your way home, you know, you stop and you pick up a $5 bouquet of flowers at the grocery store, you know, and you're like, wow, this is so vibrant, it's just this little pick me up, you know. Or maybe you call a friend and you get a cup of coffee, like there's always things that you can find to uplift your day.
Speaker 2:And if you're able to also feel the bad without staying in the bad, without staying in that dark place, that's when you're able to kind of uncork the faucet and you're able to, you know, experiment and you're able to make mistakes because you don't assign any meaning to it. You know, if you fail, you're not like, oh I'm a failure, like, oh, I miss, I took a misstep, you know, I learned something from that, and then you can keep moving forward. And so I just started experimenting with that and I have always been a questioner. I was listening to some of your episodes and I was like you mentioning asking questions, and I was like that was me.
Speaker 2:I was 100% that kid who was like you know why is this guy blue? But why? But why the adults of my life are thrilled with that, you know. But it helped me because it's like that is what made me a good friend, that is what made me a good coach, that is what really allowed me to not be afraid to look stupid, to not be afraid to make mistakes, like because even if I did feel stupid for a moment or make a mistake, that's not the end, you know. Then I just ask another question, you know, and if someone's going to judge me because I ask a question, well, that's their brain space, you know, I don't have to worry about that. And that really fueled me.
Speaker 1:Nice. Yeah, there's such a scope as far as like the big T trauma, the little T trauma, that I've hear a lot of people talking about that book. The body keeps the score and I think that was something that you're mentioning. As far as with your book club that you're diving into, is that still the case?
Speaker 2:We did do some of that book, yeah, and we share a lot of content specifically around trauma, because there is there's another book that's actually really great called the Myth of Normal and that's by Dr Gabor Matei and he talks specifically about the fact that pretty much everyone has trauma.
Speaker 2:Everyone, you know, and most people have this idea that trauma is this, you know, huge event and trauma is, you know, it's like a car accident or an assault or going to war, like all of those things are trauma, but those are big T, like you said, big T trauma, whereas small T trauma is very focused on things that are ongoing and persistent and it could be things that you literally would never think are abuse or trauma.
Speaker 2:Like, for example, if your parents worked a lot when you were a kid and you didn't have a lot of one on one time with them and you had to do a lot of like self care for yourself because of that, that's trauma. That's little T trauma because your needs were not fully met and when that is ongoing, we really start to condition ourselves, not intentionally by any means, but we really start to condition ourselves and our beliefs and what we think we're capable of in the world. That we see, like the idea that you can just ask questions and figure anything out, is not conditioned in a lot of people and in fact I would say most of the kids even that I've worked with. They start to learn not to ask questions, and it's like that. That shouldn't happen. You know, our brains are developing and so we're up to 28, some study show and so the idea that we're going to, you know, set our comfort zone and that's it for the rest of our lives is just not true.
Speaker 1:Wow, and it's so interesting because, even like every time for our listeners, every time that we like talk, there's like little aha moments that go off in my brain and even like you're mentioning about the with your parents working all the time and things like that, that's made me kind of have like an aha moment. I've been like, oh well, when I came home from school by myself and was like entertaining myself until my parents got home and then I started. Now I'm, to my husband's words, probably fiercely independent, probably because I was needed to self sustain in not an unloving environment or anything like that, but that was the environment that was there. So not not something intentional, but just just interesting, like those little tea, little tea ones that you come across.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and I mean I think so. I think this is very much an American thing, but obviously you're an example that it can happen anywhere in the world. But I know part of American culture in particular is is around independence, is fierce individuality, and if you look at a lot of other cultures around the world, you will see that the people who are happiest are those who have a tribe, who have a village, you know, and it's like that is the way we are built and society can capitalize on you being an individual. Because then it's like oh well, you did something wrong or you don't understand or you are not good enough, and it's like but actually, if you have the support system that you needed, it wouldn't be a matter of oh, I have to figure this all out for myself. It's, I've got this village that I can rely on, even if I mess up.
Speaker 1:Absolutely and that the village aspect is it's something that can be so beneficial. Like we just particularly like in both of Charlie and myself are in North America and when it gets cold you're literally mostly confined, like people stay home more often and you're physically isolated and I know that messes with like my level of mood. Being from somewhere that's like if it's cold it's really not cold. Like between summer to winter is like the closest temperature difference, specifically within Australia, and here you're like that's it's too cold to go out because it's bitterly cold most of the winter. So it's interesting, like you're not only are you socially isolated, you're physically isolated from your village as well, even if you had that village.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and our nervous systems regulate with other nervous systems. We learn and we're able to incorporate things because of mirror neurons in our brain, which is only possible around other people, and the idea that anyone can achieve their best life on their own is actually scientifically completely bunk. It's actually not possible. You know, and I will say hyper independence was a huge, huge trauma response for me as well, like one of my even I laugh now because I have a hieroglyphic tattoo that's for independence. Wow, like that is that it that really was a defining characteristic for me of like I can figure anything out, and it's because I had to become an adult when I was 13 years old.
Speaker 2:And so it's like when you are thrust into a life like that and to that level of trauma and that level of hardship so early, you think like I'm not going to tell me, I'm not going to rely on people, I'm not going to ask for help. You know it was hard. Just to like say you know to my neighbor, can you help me get to the laundry mat which is a few blocks away? You know, and and I will say there's another piece of it to that there's a culture, a lot around receiving around this idea that you know that you either only need help for, like, a certain period of your life, or up until a certain age, or you know, like that there's all of these conditions and it's not like that at all, like the world is not made up of givers and takers, it's made up of givers and receivers, and we are not conditioned to be able to receive in most cultures.
Speaker 1:Well, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And even when you look at things like they're weaving a compliment for someone, like you feel the need to either place if someone says, oh hey, I like your shoes, or something like that you usually you feel compelled to fire back something you you quickly observe about someone else and you offer that compliment back.
Speaker 1:Like it's really hard to sit there and just say thank you and to hold that and a lot of the time, like people's love language might be the gift of being able to assist someone to. So if we're someone who is resisting being able to ask for help or be able to receive it without feeling like the immediate need to give something back to that person, you're taking away the opportunity for that person to show you that they care through their love language and things like that. Like where, by being so hyper independent I speak from my own experience we're taking that away from someone to be able to have that give the help and receive the give and the receive and like that, the flow that goes around with our community and our people that we care about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and you hit the nail right on the head when you said it's uncomfortable to receive, like to just receive the compliment. And I noticed a lot of times I, I absolutely used to do this and I'm like working my way out of the habit of it Is that if someone would say like, oh, I like your dress, I would say something like you know, oh, thanks, I got it for five dollars. Or like some, you know, oh, this old thing, you know, and it's like you can just receive it, like it's totally fine and and, honestly, like now, there is a joyful moment when that can be experienced, when someone's like, oh, I love your outfit. You're like, thanks, me too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I, you know it's funny is that there's a book I'm reading right now and I can see absolutely that I Well, I should say I'm reading right now for the second time in a row. Like I read it back to back, which I've never done with any book before. I recommend it for every person and I've never had a book like that either, and I could see myself reading it every year as well, like as things change in my life, and that's the big leap. Have you read that yet?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Hey Hendricks.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's exactly what he talks about. Right is like Expanding your capacity for joy and love and abundance, like so your comfort zone, that's your capacity right there, you know. And so it's like if you are not used to receiving help, of course it's kind of feeling comfortable. But if you you're raised and say like a multi-generational home where you know you were growing up with grandparents and everyone is taking care of each other and you know you go over to your neighbor's house, is like that's not uncomfortable, that's not unusual, that is your comfort zone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that you we were talking before and you have a great Metaphor that I want you to talk our listeners through, or the comfort zone and how we class things. Because I think that reframe is really helpful in how we kind of like we do our mental kind of workouts we're taking our brain to the gym with with how we can kind of reframe and change the way we address things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I. So I I still use the term comfort zone, but that's another one that I am starting to work my way out of, mainly because I think, as a society as a whole, we work way too much, we work way too hard. We spend so much time doing rather than being, rather than like actually enjoying life, trying to get somewhere, to some destination or to have something, and the idea that we are constantly pushing ourselves or maybe working a job we don't like, or working too much, that we're exhausted or not being able to spend time for our family All of that is uncomfortable. So the idea of like being in my comfort zone and then having to do something uncomfortable in order to grow like I feel, like my Subconscious is, like I've had enough heart in this life, like I don't want discomfort. I don't want to choose that, and so I started having to reframe it for myself, and part of this is Related to trauma healing, in the sense that you start to recognize that a lot of the behaviors that we do and this is self sabotage To is it's just protection, you know, it's just trying to keep us safe, and the comfort zone is the same thing.
Speaker 2:And so now the comfort zone to me is essentially the safe zone or the known zone. It's what we already know, what we're already aware of, and then everything outside of that is the unsafe zone or the unknown zone. And so the unsafe is not, most of the time, is not a literal unsafe Like, if you do this, you will, it will result in the end of your life. You know, it usually doesn't go that far, but it is an Uncomfortable enough and unsafe enough to our subconscious that we will reject it or that we will self sabotage in order to keep ourselves safe, in order to keep ourselves protected.
Speaker 2:And I found to that, like with my clients a lot of times we will approach the same thing where they will say you know, like I don't know how to you know, make my comfort zone bigger. And we start to explore like, okay, if it feels unsafe, why does it feel unsafe? You know, if you're afraid of it, then there's something there that is preventing you from doing it. It doesn't necessarily mean that whatever is preventing you is a real reason to not do it, but there's something there. And so, if we can look at what the reasoning is and talk it through, and almost always it's tied to some core belief we have from childhood about ourselves or our capability. Then suddenly that fear goes away. We feed it with information and the unsafe zone we recognize consciously it's just a little bit further outside of what we're comfortable with and it's a lot easier to approach it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and having the someone like a clarity coach, so someone like Charlie, to be able to see those points, because I think a lot of the time when we start to edge towards that unsafe zone is we, don't we? If that's where our excuses really bubble up to the surface and it becomes more of a External reason why we can't do things versus an internal reason that we need to kind of uncover and we need to go Okay, well, what is the thing like? What is triggering me here to make me think that x or things like that? Actually saw a really cool graphic from Cody Sanchez. I don't know if you might have seen her on TikTok, but she's the one that is like crazy simple businesses and things like that that talks about like the unsexy businesses she mentioned. She does shows like a graph in her email newsletter where she talks about the reasons why entrepreneurs don't do something, and the top one is like 40% is like lack of funds. The next one is like lack of resources and it kind of Stems down from there. But it's interesting that none of the top like none of those reasons were. It's all the perceived reasons, it's not the actual like. There's no one lacks the capability of doing it. It's just the unsafe zone. When we get close to it we then see, oh, it's external to us and that's the reason why people don't succeed.
Speaker 1:And that's part of the reason why I really started the Podcast was to share my journey of stretching out into that uncomfort zone like the unsafe zone, and how that's growing and changing and how I'm sharing my like aha moments in hopes that by me talking through them and seeing examples in people, that people can then go.
Speaker 1:Okay, I kind of see myself in this person or I kind of see that I've done maybe something like this before in my own life and that's maybe what I'm seeing as an excuse, because when you get to that unsafe zone, you start to realise, oh, there's those pieces that are not external to me and you turn inside to address them. Let's kind of move it a little bit along that path. So, since you're a clarity coach, you've obviously had to put offers out into the world and you have to be able to speak to people to make those offers and to you've done the work within yourself to call yourself the clarity coach and how, as far as the beginning piece, if we're looking at when you put your offer out there and that kind of the unsafe zone that you ventured into. Can you talk us through that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it's interesting because I know we had talked a little bit before about like how long it took to get the ball rolling, really, and I became a coach almost entirely by accident, and it was someone being able to see me more clearly than I could see myself, and part of it was I had entertained the idea of being a coach in my early 20s and then I met a life coach in person who was speaking at an event and she really, like, in a kind of negative way, came down on me and was like, well, make sure you get your certifications and don't put yourself out in the world until you get there. And I know that her intention was because there's a lot of people in the coaching industry who don't have any understanding of what it means to coach or what it means to hold space for other people or to ask questions and allow people to really come to their own, and especially there's not a lot that are trauma informed. And so there were there are a lot of layers around protecting people when it comes to coaching, and so now you know this is like eight years ago. Now I'm like recognizing, you know her intentions were good and so I didn't think I was going to be a coach, I was very much like I don't know who I'm going to get there, I don't know if I'm going to do that.
Speaker 2:And then I was doing virtual assistant work for one of my first clients and two. About two months in he said listen, you can do virtual assistant work for me, but you're not a virtual assistant, you are a coach. And I was like you know, what do you mean? I just do spreadsheets for you, like what you know. And he's like, honestly, he's like every time I run into a problem with my business I bring it to you. Like, yes, I give you, you know, spreadsheet work, but like, our conversations over lunch helped me to make my business better. You know, and that was the first inclination of like well, maybe there's a different way to get to being a coach other than you know.
Speaker 2:I have to go down a specific, you know education path, you know, and so I originally, even when I was taking on clients, all of my clients so far have been word of mouth. I haven't done any kind of paid advertising. I do occasionally talk about it on social media, but almost all the time it's I'm working with someone and then they make the changes in their life or in their business and someone else sees them doing that and they're like, well, how did you do it? And then they meet me, and so it hasn't been so much that I've had to put offers out and really do like a lot of outreach, but I will say the hands down, the thing that helps me the most was practicing being authentic, and it wasn't.
Speaker 2:It wasn't sales, because sales is the only thing that brings in money right in your business, like just straight up. It's the only thing. You have to be able to connect with people. You have to be able to tell them what you do, otherwise they're not going to pay you like they're not going to want to work with you. But most people think that sales is convincing someone and it's not like my job is never, ever to convince someone to work with me or that they need a coach. My job is to see whether they are ready for a coach and to see whether they are open to my coaching style and to see if they're in a place where they're ready to commit to it, like those pieces. I help them to get clear on that and then they decide if they want to coach.
Speaker 2:I'm not selling them on me and that was another piece too is that you're not only like you're not selling them, you're helping them get clear. And if they decide to work with you, great. And if they don't, then you've got practice and it can be discouraging because you're like I want the sale. You know, I want to work with people.
Speaker 2:But I will tell you there have been times where someone felt like a great fit and then they decided they said yes, but then they never followed up or like they fell through and then, as time went on, I started getting clarity like, oh, you know what? That actually that thing that they said like I don't know, that they were ready, you know, and so it's. It all works out how it's supposed to, and you reckon, start to recognize that it's not about coaching being a service that I'm like trying to to put on people. You know it's. I'm helping you solve a problem in your life, and if you don't know what the problem is but you're just unhappy, we can work on that too. But I don't have to sell you on me. I just have to practice showing up as me. I just have to practice talking about what I know, and if that appeals to you, great.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and that's like even being able to feel like you can show up authentically as yourself. I think that in in an essence as well, like we've been so like how much do we show up? How much like? I mean particularly like to kind of I hesitate to use gender stereotypes but like, typically when you grow up, identifying as female, you are someone who people like they kind of try to tamp down, like the girls where they encourage the boys to be more like wild, free spirited and things like that. They don't tamp them down as much as you kind of get that. Unfortunately, you do get shaped a little bit about that.
Speaker 1:But being able to uncover those and unlearn the things that people told you oh no, that characteristic in a female is is bossy, however, in someone who has male characteristics, is deemed as a leadership quality, like there's different ways that we can spin things, and it's a whole lot of unlearning that I feel like we need to do too in order to be able to show up authentically as ourselves and to feel safe enough within ourselves that when we put ourselves out into the world, if someone says something nasty on a comment thread or something like that, like the keyboard worries or something like that, like just know, learning to be okay with knowing that anything they say says more about them than says about you, and just knowing to be like, oh, you know what if you block and delete or if you leave it like it's more about them than anything you've done, and not to then shy away because one person out of a whole host of people that saw something that you did or talked about or showed up in the world, taking the negative over the positives and things like that that people have offered.
Speaker 1:Was there a moment where you kind of felt like, hey, you know what, this feels really good to be authentically me. Is there something that sticks out in your mind that you did or had some interaction with someone that you're like, yep, this feels good to be me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I will say I was thinking about what it means to be authentic just in general. And I think sometimes we, especially as entrepreneurs and you're right, especially for a lot of people who identify as female there's this pressure that the only way to figure out what authentic is is by booking a bunch of sales calls and trying and trying, and trying and trying and it's like no, you can literally just talk to your friends and be like this is a service I want to offer. Can I practice with you? Or like getting on a Zoom call and being like let me try it out, you know, and the more you do it then, the more confident you get and the more likely you are the next time to be like okay, this is what I need to do differently.
Speaker 2:And so for me, I was really fortunate because my mentor I worked at a bank as my first job and my first like full time with benefits job and my mentor we laugh now because she basically like volunteer told me that I was going to become a member of this professional organization. She paid for my first year of membership and everything, because I at the time I was like I'm an administrative assistant, like what am I going to say to people who are like entrepreneurs and like lawyers and doctors coming to this event, you know, and I just I couldn't, couldn't even fathom it. And so I joined and for the first year I was a member, but I was helping a lot because my mentor was the president of our chapter. And then the next year I became vice president and then the year after that, for two years I was president and I had to organize a meeting every single month. I had to be up at a podium talking. Every single month. I had speakers come in. I presented myself twice and then I like started organizing mixers and I started organizing events where I would emcee and I would like be teaching about, you know, the brain and meditation in between other speakers, you know. And so I literally just kept practicing, kept practicing, kept practicing.
Speaker 2:And when I speak now, like don't get me wrong I still get like cold hands. I'm shaking and sweating. But I've done it, you know, I've done it already, so I know that I can do it, and that was what it took is like the overall practice of just showing up, even if it's messy, and also owning it to, because I can't tell you how many times I've started. I think you've probably been on a call or two with the book club with sparkle warriors, where we started, and I'm like, oh, I'm nervous and it's like we're just talking about a book. You know, it's like it's not this really complicated thing, but we put pressure on ourselves to show up in a way other than being up on typically human, you know.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely, I keep on having, like you may have the people who have listened, and for Charlie, who may have heard some of the things as well, like when I started season one of the podcast, I was literally sitting in a closet where there was no lions, there was no bears, there was no tigers, no one was going to jump through the microphone and like grab my, grab at me or anything like that.
Speaker 1:Like it was a totally non-threatening environment, just practicing showing up, being authentically me and in the same way, like you had some great chances to just it just kind of rolled forward beautifully and I think because you had that self reflection of going okay, well, what did I do here that could be maybe like a tweak here and do this next time that you had that, that momentum, you started to be able to have those different pieces that you now build on and, like Charlie is has got the best questions, like I when I said in the intro, like the best questions, for it just so insightful in being able to dig so much deeper than the surface level on reflection, both for Charlie and then also for, like other people, when there's questions that come up and how, how we reflect and how we think about it and then seeing the in-between story that they are so, so well versed in just dialing into it.
Speaker 1:So it's so great to have that. And since we've got where I'm just being cautious of time here at the moment so we've talked a little bit about the comfort zone and unsafe zone and big T trauma and little T trauma and all of these kind of pieces, and even like clarity coach as a term, like as far as being able to offer services and things like that and your experience with meditation. On the back of that want to move into a humble brag. Now. This is something that is probably very familiar with Charlie, as they are hosting the bi-weekly play shops and also by monthly, not bi-weekly.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're like I won't be showing up that much, but the bi-monthly play shops and the essence of those is essentially being able to like. There's a lot of different things, but the thing that I kind of took away from from what the offering is is being able to humble brag, and so I actually took the inspiration from you and include that in my guest as part of one of the questions I asked the guest, because so frequently we don't offer a humble brag. So I'll get you to give a humble brag and then let us know a little bit about the play shops that you offer.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it's so funny that you asked that, because I actually the phrase humble brag I don't resonate with at all. But let me explain, because I think, you know, I think the reason I don't resonate with it anymore is because we use the word humble as if that's the only way that it's acceptable to brag. You know, it's like I can be really proud of myself, I can be really full of myself. I mean, I'm the only thing that's in me, right, so I have to be full of myself. Yes, you know, and I think that there's, there is absolutely a line, you know, in the bragging when it's like I'm. You know, bragging to make other people feel bad, like that is not okay, but to be like you know, I've reached a quarter of a million people on tick tock, which is wild, wild.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:I had to add that up for a speech I did recently like how many people and I was just like holy smokes. You know that is so inspiring. Like to me to know that people like it resonates with them, you know, and I think that bragging as a whole should be fully embraced, like I want to do, like brag sessions, and just be like okay, like tell me what you did and like I. I have a lot of my clients create brag books Specifically, where they take a notebook that is only for this purpose and they're writing down Everything that comes up, like that little compliment your boss gave you today. It goes in the book.
Speaker 2:You're on a zoom call and someone is like oh, that was a thoughtful question. You're like that goes in the book. You know you're. You're in the coffee shop and someone is like you know I love your sense of style. It goes in the book like anything that makes you feel good and reminds you that you are. While we are all exactly the same in the sense that we are all humans having human experiences, you were also entirely unique and that brag book can help highlight that.
Speaker 1:That's wonderful and that that's such a great idea because as entrepreneurs, you are going to have those days that where you're You're more of on a bit of a a peak of that rollercoaster.
Speaker 1:Some days it's a little bit lower, some days you're on a loop-de-loop and you may need to pull out that brag book to be able to go and like a look at it.
Speaker 1:I love the reframe for Taking away humble piece of it, because you're right, and like a lot of the times when, where it's that kind of, when we do talk About it, it's seen as all you're full of yourself. Well, just like you said, that's all you can be for you when it's taking away that negative charge from it and to be able to just make it just a normal, like sharing our wins, like People we have in our tribe, people we have in our village, they want to support us, like there's a reason you, when you get excited, you call your best friend and you say, hey, look, I did this great thing. Or like you should want to share with your partner or however, however that looks, and to be able to share those wins, because I think that's what helps make it real for a lot of people being able to Actually concretely say this is something I achieved and this is something that worked out really well, or however that look.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. I mean joy is a snowball, right. So it's like the more snow that you pack in, the more you highlight. It goes back to that. The bouncer right in your brain is like if you were looking for all the things you can celebrate and be proud of. Along the way, you find more of it.
Speaker 1:That's incredible. I love all of the metaphors and things like that. Charlie knows I must suck up a metaphor. We're good sucks for so long, katie. Yes, and I think we may have to have another episode with you back, because there is just so many different directions. We can go as far as talking and you've got so much extra stuff to add and so like just even having those different perspectives of Normal level things that you're. You've done the work, you know, okay. Well, what if we phrase it in this way? What if we address it in that way? So it's been so great to have you on here.
Speaker 1:I will wrap up with our time, to be conscious of the time, and Thank you so much for sharing and being vulnerable. I know that it's taken a lot for you to be able to be comfortable and willing to share your story out with people and being able to Let people into a little bit behind that world and and how you've and how you've gained your credentials as being that clarity coach, not by certificates but by life experience and taking on that work yourself that you've you've done and just be being able to be An amazing human being. So I want to thank you so much for your time today and hope everyone had got some stuff out of it. We'll go ahead and drop some links in the show notes about how to get in touch with Charlie. Did you want to go ahead and share where the best place to contact you is?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the best place would be. You can find me on tech talk, charlie Undersport time hacker, and then you can find me on my website, which is timehackersunitecom.
Speaker 1:Awesome, and I think maybe next time we might have to dive into the ideas behind time, hackers and all of those different things as well. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here with me. Thanks.